Sunday, January 25, 2009
emo relapse alert
lately, my line of vision has been littered with broken hearts.
i am troubled.
not just because the sight of emotionally bleeding people pains me,
but mostly because it forces me to assess my own heart and
unfortunately, the distractions are no long distracting enough to
keep me from treading that supposedly forgotten path...
(of course it's about ME. duh.)
sigh. (yes, i am indulging my melodramatic tendencies again...
run, while you can.)
there's ara, my in denial debater who walks around pretending to be
fine and dandy but constantly indulging in huge doses of masochism
(i.e. frequently texting with the ex, checking the sweet captured
moments of the new pair in friendster)
there's aiken, who's chosen to make his heartbreaker anonymous in
the numerous chronicles of his year-long pain and is now apologizing
for his choice to go find (hopefully heal) himself.
there's the other bums struggling with their own precarious love
stories, wondering if it's all worth it...
and then there's me. i think my romantic pulse is normal,
nowhere near heartbreak (i think) but maybe... this is all just
wishful thinking. i think truthfully, nothing seems to be wrong
because the relationship is almost non-existent. if technically
there's nothing there, how can there be hurt?
but really, i am quite aware that THIS is as bad as BAD
in relationships go...
are we all doomed to pain?
(emo relapse alert! hehe)