Friday, April 24, 2009

it's the moles, i tell you


recent events have pushed me to an internal debate: am i a troublemaker?
or does the world just seem to disagree with me on the things that matter?

as you probably have read, i've been ranting in my last two FB
stat msgs about supposedly educated people and their lack of
breeding. this stemmed from a brouhaha which happened in UP during
our latest debate tournament wherein some debaters sank to the level
of being palengkeras and verbally flayed me in the bus due to a
comment i made in FB, a million years ago (okay, after a certain
episode in SquareOff).

i think it got rather out of hand, which i think made my
institution and the institution of those... lets call them
"bad people" (haha), get infamous reputations in the debate
circles. tsk. tsk. tsk...

but as you very well know, this ISN'T the first time something
like this happened. i've had people getting mad at me for words
i said and opinions i've expressed: both verbally and on paper.
alhtough, i conceed that particular FB comment was thoughtless
and tactless, most of the OTHER things I opine about are words
i can vouch for (i.e. atty. paguia and his scathing, rather
demeaning response to a question he never really answered).

but you know what they say, all things that end well...
(dang, i forgot the rest of the expression). they apologized
and i've apologized back as well (yes, i'm mature now and actually
say 'sorry' to people... so long as they deserve it. nyaha)

i'm out to make more waves in debate however, and it it'll inevitably
get me... well, more infamous. i'd have to be careful not to drag
my institution or make them fully understand my stances and
therefore my choices, so they can support me (assuming they
will choose to) with an informed choice. this isn't a vendetta,
it's supporting a movement (albeit a risky, possibly controversial
one) that i sincerely think will create changes that will uplift
debate in the philippines.

after all these, people are asking me to you know, change (i think),
and generally avoid such compromising situations. well, you know
how i hate it when people ask me NOT to be me. i will NOT change.
i will be more tactful, yes, since it's always a goal to be a
better version of yourself, but i will NOT change who i am. i
think the moles give fair warning: i'm not one to sit around and
be mum.

because this is what i learned from my recent exposures to the real
nature of debate in general, and debaters in particular: we are in a
system that's indeed a microcosm of philippine politics (yikes, tama
ka *****s). and if people have accepted philippine politics as it is,
not bothering to really do anything about it, because, well,
ano pa bang magagawa mo? i think while were still young, and the
system (in debate, at least) is still malleable and open to change
and you've got rational, open-minded people who are all capable of
fair discourse... we should act on changes that will minimize problems
...why the hell not?

anyway, it's a struggle enough to choose between who i am and that
person people prefer i was. hopefully, the day will NEVER come when
i have chosen to stay quiet because speaking up is just too risky,
inconvenient, too much of a hassle and in some instances, possibly
life-threatening? hehe. Well, i'm not there (yet), at least.

good luck to me and my endeavors in life. haha

4 comments:

Aiken said...

the lone person who can probably understand u is a brilliant bum! hahahaa

Scottiboy said...

u better narrate the whole fucking thing on phone. call!

mara said...

im kind of saturated bout the whole thing scottie... itll be a story for when we next see each other... hehe :P

Ady said...

uhm i think i already know them... curse them instead! hahaha.. i'll help u.. =)