My days are consumed by the one need to name moment to moment – enfleshing the world into words so that they may be turned
in my hand, in my palm, and what it is that sits in my heart,
can sit in my hand instead, and be thrown away into the sea;
or kept in my pocket as keepsake. I walk the seashore of life
and decide which rocks to keep, which to discard, which to put
away so that I may mix and match at some later date; call upon
a memory to authenticate a point; call upon a look I hit upon
to explain character motivation; always, always keeping score.
I've always wanted to say that... but she found the words
first and wove them together more beautifully than I ever could.
I think writing is like that. Weaving words like pieces of thread
into a mat or a blanket or maybe even a sweater, each stitch done
by hand, and always, carefully so. Anything that's woven by hand
is unique. Anything anybody writes will always be unique. Even if
you use the same words, follow the same stitching patterns...
So maybe, that's why I write. I fancy myself a weaver. Making
something tangible out of my warbled thoughts. Making pieces of
fiction my reality by writing down words. Hoping someone can feel
comfort or warmth from this blanket of words that I wove.
note: this post is a response to michee's 'why i write' post
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
actually, he won't be outside of the country till the 27th...
but still, iligan feels a little emptier without him. the debate
varsity has just lost a coach, IIT, one of its rockinest teachers
and me, a confidante and she-brother... (haha, peace)
mam, for all the sleepless nights over debate, the kapalpakan
with boys (*wink*), the unquantifiable alcohol our friendship
has consumed and its repercussions (*wink* na pod)...the laughter,
the tears, the losses and victories we've shared... thank you. you've
made iligan a lot more fun...
looking forward to our next shobar break :) love you mam...yarokzta!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
i've just spent a couple of very intellectually fulfilling
and emotionally stimulating afternoons having tea with a friend
i have wanted to run into for a long time.
he's a rather complicated package whose personality cannot
be done justice through descriptions, however exhaustive.
he is someone to be experienced. but it will just have to suffice
to say that among other things, he is an old soul with deep
insights on life and people.
he hails from sri lanka and is a teacher and psychotherapist
by profession. he sees your deepest secrets and who you really
are behind that mask we are all fond of wearing. he can be
scary in that he peels away all your pretensions with
a probing gaze, but is your greatest friend in that he sees
the full extent of your brokenness and yet understands that
this doesn't in any way diminish the beauty of who you are.
once again, he has helped me come in terms with the difficult
aspects of who i am, reminded me of how to deal with the
dysfunctions i have and taught me how to better love myself.
Ultimately, this is the most important lesson of all,
being human means being imperfect, but living means
you never stop trying to be better.
For the striking lessons, the arresting insights,
and the beautiful conversations... i offer my thanks anton.
Until the next time we run into each other...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
the greeks believe that humans used to be the perfect creatures.
man and woman were one. the jealous gods were not happy with this
and broke the perfect creatures apart...
and so it is said that our reason for being on earth is to find
that other half...
so we could be perfect and whole again.
...no matter how much of a realist i become, i will never stop
believing in this story.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
here's a quote from exie abola that totally
While entertainment strokes our ego
and makes us content with ourselves
and the world we live in,
art calls us to go beyond our comfort zone,
to expand the limited spheres of our existence.
It admonishes us to become more than who we
… Art disturbs us into living.”